Runester
an aperiodic journal

Runester

Snow Biopsy Results

June 19th, 2006

I brought Snow back to the vet tonight. His assistant removed three or four staples and two or three stitches. He did not have her remove them all, because there is still some strain on the scar and he did not want to rush it. I’ll have to return next week for another check-up.

The bad news, is that the biopsy results are back, and the mass they removed from her was malignant. “Fibrosarcoma, moderate grade of malignancy. … often recur after surgical excision.”

Though she seems to be doing fine, moves around fine, eats and drinks fine, and has gained a pound since the last visit (good!) - there is a good chance that the tumor will recur. I’ll have to keep a close watch on her and make sure to get her into the vet as soon as I feel anything out of the ordinary.

I’m a little upset. I know that she is an older cat, and that she will die just as we all die. I just didn’t expect a diagnoses of cancer or the threat that when I’m not looking she’ll grow very ill and die, possibly in pain. Still, this is the time we have together and so I’ll try to make the most of it and hope for the best.

snow’s doing fine.

June 10th, 2006

Snow is doing fine. Right from the day I brought her home from the vet (the day after her surgery) she has been active and apparently comfortable. The scar looks pretty bad and has half a dozen stitches and another half dozen staples; but she moves around, climbs up and down the stairs, get’s on and off the bed, etc. In fact, the only time I was able to detect any discomfort at all is when I applied the antibiotic ointment to her scar - I figure it may have stung.

She’s been getting two doses of Amoxycillin every day, one in the morning and one in the evening. In fact, in order to keep her doses up, I’ve stayed home this weekend and my poor gf is alone. [She probably enjoys the break, I am a bit much - but the evening can get lonely for both of us.]

On another topic entirely …

[... TOPIC DELETED ...]

It’s interesting and frustrating to note what I can’t note in this blog. The readership can probably be counted on one hand with fingers to spare - and yet some topics have the potential to stir up trouble or hurt feelings, and of those that I know. I suppose I’d need to keep some second, secret blog for those topics; such that those close to me, the very ones I care about the most, wouldn’t be harmed or offended by what I write. On the other hand, it’s challenging enough to update one blog on a semi-regular basis, having to maintain two is just too much.

Shape Shifters

One of the staples of science fiction as well as fantasy genre stories are the Shape Shifters. In fantasy they are usually sorcerers who have aquired the ability or werewolves who have been cursed with a limited version of it. The ones that interest me the most are the Sci-Fi version, often an alien race with the intrinsic ability to change their shape. The issue that has fascinated and frustrated me for years is the insistance that they have some ‘true’ shape, and the hero often tries to force the shape shifter back into. In the fantasy setting, I guess that makes sense; in the sci-fi setting … why should there be a first shape? Why does there have to be a ‘true’ shape and everything else is a mimic cover? The only time I’ve ever seen this handled well (or right, in my opinion) was the Founders of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. In their ‘true’ shape they were a liquid. Completely ’shapeless’, or taking the shape of whatever container they were in. Their entire homeworld was a vast ocean - a liquid covered planet in which the liquid was the race of aliens, themselves.

We change shape, have ‘faces’ or ‘masks’ that we employ at different times and for different purposes. One face for work, another for home, another for church. One when we feel we are in authority, another when we are submissive, and even one for trying to wheedle our way with someone. But, there has always been the belief that under all of the pretext is our true face. What if we have no true face? What if we are born ‘liquid’, utterly malleable to our surroundings, and needing to be in order to survive? What if, under all those masks and false fronts … is nothing at all? Maybe those dreamy hippies and neo-hippies that go off to ‘find themselves’ and ‘get in touch with their inner nature’ are actually dancing on the edge of the great existential cliff. Maybe they end up discovering that at the center of it all, is a silent empty space, surrounded by masks and held together by fears and desires. Would this be more empowering or disempowering?

Perhaps the horror, the sense of emptiness and meaninglessness would be overwhelming. Or, perhaps, there would be an understanding of the infinite possibilities this situation permits. Can’t masks be taken up and cast off, as suits one? If we are not our masks, not our fears and not our desires, then we are as protean, as infinitely adaptable as that see of shape shifters. Even more so, they were constrained to the limits of a liquid - but our core of silent emptiness is not constrained at all.

Post Op

June 7th, 2006

I picked Snow up from the vet this morning. She is active and doing fine, but I am still concerned. First, here is a picture of what they removed. I won’t know the test results until next week.

The lump removed

Here are some pictures of snow and her scar, with both stitches and surgical staples.

Snow, Post Op

Snow, Post Op

Also, the admin there noted that last time snow was in she weighed 10 lbs. and this time she weighed just over 8 lbs. I thought the weight loss was due to a better diet I have them both on, but losing nearly 20% of her body weight is probably NOT a good sign. In any case, she does not seem to be in any pain and she is moving around and climbing steps and the whole shebang. I have been watching her and still need to give her two (2) doses of antibiotics plus use an antibiotic cream on the scar.

I hope everything proves to be OK, Snow is a good cat and should still have some few years left to her.

Snow has a lump!

June 6th, 2006

Last Saturday morning, I was petting my white female cat, Snow, and felt something under her fur below her right front leg. It was a lump and turned out to be two, connected lumps about the size of the end of my pinky finger. I made an appointment with the vet and took her over there Monday afternoon. This evening the vet will surgically remove the lumps and send them away to be tested.

They are soft and one is clearly not attached to the ribs, the vet assistant could get his fingers underneath it. Snow, herself, is doing fine. She’s not in any pain and has been both eating fine as well as getting around fine. So, the first and best guess is that these are just fatty deposits under her fur - not uncommon for a cat her age. But, if it is something more serious, I’ll know as soon as the results get back.

Here are some snap-shots I took with my mobile phone after the assistant shaved the area. I’ll try to snap some more when Snow get’s home. Send positive thoughts!!!

Snow's Lump, 1
Snow's Lump, 2

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